Your identity determines your results and your lifestyle.
Who you be, how you act, the decisions you make, the habits you feed into, the people you associate with, the life you think is “normal”, are all part of your identity.
To create a new or different experience, your identity needs to shift. It’s truly the only way. Otherwise you fall back into old ways of thinking, old beliefs, and you guessed it- the same old results.
So how does one actually make the changes, and create the shifts required?
How does one make the aspiration or the dream the reality simply by normalizing it?
Think of something in your daily life that used to be a luxury that is now standard. For example: fresh food, house cleaners, a specific type of shampoo, maybe the kind of car you drive, or the clothes or shoes you wear.
At one point, these things either didn’t matter to you or you were unaware. But once you figured out you liked it, and wanted it, you raised your standards and made it a staple in your life.
For example, when I had my son, I got my first SUV. Now, I won’t drive a regular car- they seem too small for me and inconvenient. I will always drive an SUV now and I even get a little perturbed when I get a rental car and it’s not an SUV. It’s a small example, but that’s the point.
You already HAVE normalized and raised your standards in other parts of your life. You have normalized things you have now that you never did before. And you can do the same for every other part of your life.
Say you have a standard for always making sure to invest in yourself and your business. Certain things need to happen in order for you to maintain that standard- you have to have a specific budget or money set aside each month specifically for investing, which means that there needs to be a minimum amount earned each month, you make it a point to follow and vet certain coaches and experts so you can learn from the very best… etc.
Now let’s do it with something bigger.
Let’s say I desire to be one of the most sought after coaches/consultants in the female space.
It can remain a “desire”, a “hope”, a “wish” and a “prayer”, or I can shift my identity and the things required in order for that to be so.
The first thing I would do is to study the people around me who I- or others- would consider a top coach/expert. What are they doing or saying that I am not? How are they showing up differently than I am? What are they investing in? Are they running ads? Do they have a mentor? Are they consistent in their online presence? Do they have a rock solid and recognizable brand?
Now, this is not to compare or to copy. But to observe their standards. To see what kinds of things they’ve normalized so much that they make it look effortless. And to see where they raise the bar.
Now obviously there are certain things that won’t be achievable right away. Maybe you need more time, more money or more resources to make certain things happen. But you can choose one or two things and start raising that bar.
Showing up literally costs nothing. And it’s you actual JOB, so start there. Be more consistent, show up with a level of confidence that they have, start BELIEVING that you can have that too because of fucking course you are worthy and deserving of it and if you want it, it’s because it’s meant for you.
Once you’ve got that down, choose something else. Maybe you up level your brand with new colors, graphics or a new photoshoot. (Which will ALSO increase your confidence).
Now, you start showing up consistently with a hot new brand and a sexy vibe and the new clients are starting to trickle in. You are experiencing small wins, now it’s time to keep going.
Next, get a mentor, or invest in advertising, and so on and so on. You get it.
You have to completely overhaul your identity to be in alignment with the things/lifestyle you want. Otherwise it just doesn’t match. It will feel abnormal and it will never come to fruition.
Reenforcement Practice:
Choose something that you really, really want. It can be something related to your business or something material you want in life.
Ask yourself why you don’t have it yet. Write down the first thing that comes to you, it doesn’t matter how stupid it sounds (this is just for you) but this will be very telling of your current standards and beliefs.
Now ask yourself, if you DID have it… what would be different?
Now choose someone or multiple people that DO have what you want. What is different about them, how they show up, what they invest in and what they believe about themselves/their success.
From there make a list of the areas where YOU need to raise your standards in order to achieve said goal or to have that thing.
CHOOSE ONE. And go all in with it starting pretty much NOW. (Or tomorrow if you are reading this late)
It can be the tiniest thing… but commit to a shift.
For the rest of the items, put a date or a timeline next to each one.
The funny thing is, this will actually create a ripple effect and before you even know it, you’re just doing the things, and being it without any pushing or forcing. It all starts to flow. You just have to knock down that first domino.
Your entire identity is tied to your beliefs and your standards. What you tolerate and what you allow yourself or other people to get away with. Raising those standard and shifting those beliefs requires your commitment and discipline (sorry I can’t do that part for you!)
Mantra:
Life’s a game and I choose the rules. I choose the character. There’s no predetermined script other than my own.
I move.
I trust where my intuition guides me.
I trust my short cuts to mastery.
I deserve so much more than I’ve been settling for.
Matter of fact, none of the things I want in life are negotiable anymore.
If it’s not exactly what I want- I’m cool on it.
I’m ready to see more life, more money & a better version of myself.
(Repeat every day this week, multiple times a day if you’d like!)
