I really just wanted to share something, and I’ve been wanting to share it for a while.
I got back from a Mastermind about two weeks ago, and it’s taken me this long to process everything and really step into everything that I learned in that Mastermind. I’m still processing stuff. There’s still a lot of stuff going on. There’s lots of changes. There’s lots of thoughts going on in my head, lots of creative ideas happening. I want to share them with you, because I think that a lot of the stuff that really impacted me from this Mastermind is going to be surprising for a lot of you.
I think this is something a lot of people can relate to. I was actually really, really surprised walking away from that Mastermind with the knowledge that I did, because it definitely wasn’t what I expected.
What I expected was to go to a regular Business Mastermind and learn some business stuff from really important people, and really respected people, and millionaires, and all of that great stuff. What I walked away with was feeling like, “Holy crap. I am playing super freaking small.”
That’s actually one of the first lessons. Hey, everybody that’s coming on. One of the first lessons, or one of the things that I really walked away with from this Mastermind. It wasn’t a year long Mastermind or a really long Mastermind. It was two and a half days with some really, really amazing people. Being in a room with such incredible people helped me to see how small I was actually playing.
I thought this was really interesting, because when I’m around certain other people, I get compliments, I get praises. People are like, “Oh my gosh. You’re doing so amazing. You’re doing so great. You’re such an inspiration.” When I was put in this room with people who are doing incredible, amazing things, have been in the business for so many years, have made millions of, millions of dollars, are impacting people like crazy, my first thought was, “Holy crap. I’m playing small.”
This isn’t to get down on myself at all. It was just really to help me realize that there is so much more that I’m destined for. There is so much more out there for me to explore, so many more different opportunities, so many more business perhaps, different avenues, just different ways of doing things that I’m not thinking about now, because I’ve been playing small. I’ve been playing safe.
That’s the first lesson. I want you guys to really think about how big of a game are you actually playing? Are you just playing in your pond, I guess you can say? Your pond right now, for me, the way I felt was like I am a big fish in a small pond right now, in my small pond.
During this Mastermind, I felt like I was a little fish in a big pond. This wasn’t something that really bothered me. It really was more insightful to me, because it really helped me start to think about, what do I actually want to do in this world? What is the legacy that I want to leave? What do I really want to be known for?
It’s not, I want to be known for funnels, or marketing, or things like that. There’s just so much bigger things, a really bigger game that I need to be playing. I wanted to share this with you guys as well, so that you can hold me accountable to play that bigger game, and also to share it with you, if you’ve been feeling like, “I’ve been playing small,” or, “I’ve been playing safe.”
If you’re doing that, let’s band together, let’s stick together, and let’s find a way to really play big, play huge. Not just big, huge, like things that maybe we can’t conceive right now, but are totally, totally possible for us. That was my first lesson. “Jenn, you’re playing way too small.”
The second lesson I got was that I really need to have more me time. I thought that I was having a lot of me time, because I have a couple days off during the week, where I don’t really do much. I’ll go get pampered, and get a massage, or get my hair done, and do all that stuff.
I realized that I still need more time for me. That includes restructuring my schedule or my business, so that I can have that time to myself, to allow these creative ideas to flow, to allow myself to step into that bigger version of myself, and allow myself to grow and evolve at my own pace, and internally, versus just always reacting, or always being busy, or always doing work.
That was the second lesson, and that came from somebody who is married to a billionaire. I think he may be a billionaire himself, but I’m really not sure. Jesse Itzler, who’s married to Sara Blakely. He says that he spends three hours every single day just on himself.
This is a married man with several businesses and four kids. If he’s able to do that, I’m able to do that, you guys are able to do that. Really, it can be whatever you want. It can be your mindset work, it can be journaling, it can be writing, it could be going for a walk, it could be your exercising. Whatever it is, taking that time for yourself.
The most important part of that is not feeling guilty about it. I feel like a lot of times, we take time away from our business, or we take time just for ourselves. Especially as women, and people who are just super caring, and want to do everything for everyone, there is always some sort of little voice in our head, or some little guilt that is like, “Hey, you shouldn’t be taking this time for yourself. What are you doing? People need you. You need to be working. You need to be hustling.”
That was my second lesson that I learned, is that I actually need to spend more time for myself, and be really intentional about it too, not just hanging out here, and playing on Facebook, and doing whatever, but being really intentional with the time that I have for myself. That way when I am busy, or when I am on, or when I have to show up for work, I am 1000% for the people that need me, versus always feeling left out.
You time, without the guilt. This guy does three hours a day. It’s amazing. Yeah, Gene. I do like maybe one to one and a half hours, I feel like, to myself. I definitely want to double that up, and start doing it more, and being really intentional about it, like I said. You time without the guilt, that’s lesson number two.
Lesson number three is another one that I think is gonna surprise you a little bit. What I really loved about this Mastermind, and I didn’t even say what Mastermind it was. It was with Pete Vargas, who’s my speaking coach. I spoke at his event in Colorado a couple weeks ago. I was invited to a private Mastermind afterwords, an invite only Mastermind with some really, really incredible people.
Like I said, I thought it was gonna be all business. I thought it was just gonna be your standard Business Mastermind. Of course, I was gonna walk away with something. Of course, I knew I was going to get something out of it, but I really loved what happened there. I loved what happened, because it went from just this Mastermind of amazing people talking about business, but really what it was, was us having to face that we are here to leave a legacy.
It turned out to be more about who you have to be, versus what you have to do in business. I loved it. It was amazing. I think everybody loved it. Everybody walked away, just feeling like, “This is awesome.”
How do you remove the guilt? I think it’s just gonna take a little bit of practice and really just the courtesy, and the love, and the care, and everything that you give to other people, you have to give that to yourself. When you know that you’re really intentional about the time that you’re giving to yourself, you shouldn’t feel guilty about it.
It’s with intent, and it’s not just like, “Hey, I’m just gonna be lazy.” Not that there’s anything wrong with being lazy. I like being lazy sometimes. If you have that guilty feeling, kind of feeling like, “You know what? I’m doing this for me,” also, you’re not just doing it for yourself like I mentioned, you’re doing it for all the other people that need you: your clients, your team, your family, all the people that need you, they need you at your best self.
If you’re so busy providing for other people and working hard for other people that you don’t have time to take care of yourself, you’re not gonna show up 100%. You’re gonna show up burnt out, worn out, stressed out, possibly a little bit resentful. That’s the way I look at it, is like I’m doing this for myself, but really, I’m doing it for the people around me.
The third lesson, like I said, that I thought was really surprising, was that deep down inside, we are all hurting. I thought that this was really, really interesting in a room full of people who are multi-millionaires, who are mega-influencers, who are just really incredible people who have done really, really incredible things.
We were pushed to our limit to really think about: What are some of things that we’ve been holding onto? What are some of the guilt? What are some of the past mistakes? What are some of the things that we’ve been holding onto, that we haven’t forgiven ourselves for? And that deep down inside, we all have that something, and that we’re all, deep down inside, hurting in some way.
We need to allow ourselves to heal, so that we can, again, be the best version of ourselves, so that we can leave a legacy, so that we can leave something for our children, so that we can impact the world more. As we are just trying to hide this stuff, there’s always gonna be that little piece of us that doesn’t play full out, because of all this guilt, or maybe some past mistakes, or hurts, or a strained relationship with family, or marriage, or anything like that.
The third lesson was that deep down inside, we’re all hurting. I think it’s really important to remember, not just for ourselves and to be compassionate with ourselves, but also to be compassionate with everybody that we deal with. Even if we feel like maybe somebody’s taking something out on us, or somebody’s doing something bad to us, that really, they’re hurting as well. I think the big lesson there is compassion for all, including yourself.
Lesson number four was don’t be too hard on yourself. Again, incredible lessons. It’s interesting, because they’re such simple concepts, and I think that they’re things that we know. Somehow, it’s really profound when you realize that in a room full of people who have impacted so many, and have made so much money, that we still need to be reminded of that stuff.
No matter where you are in business, whether you are just starting, whether you’ve been doing it for a while, whether you’ve been doing it for 10, 20 years, whether you’ve made $100 in your business, or whether you’ve made a million dollars in your business, you need to not be so hard on yourself.
You need to really, again, have compassion for yourself. Look at the journey. Look at how far you’ve come. Look at all the things that you’ve accomplished, versus looking at what you haven’t completed yet, what you haven’t done, comparing yourself to others. Don’t be so hard on yourself, because I guarantee if you really were to take a look at everything you’ve accomplished so far, even if you just take this year, that it’s incredible. We need to celebrate that.
For me, when I started doing my switch from doing to being, from strategy to mindset, that was one of the biggest lessons for me, was that I needed to celebrate my successes. When I got a client, or when I got new people on my list, or when I had people sign up for my webinar … anything … when I got a compliment, when I got a testimonial, I needed to really embrace that and celebrate it.
A lot of you might feel this way as well, if you’re an entrepreneur, type A personality, growing up, nothing was ever good enough. If I got straight A’s, I should have gotten A+’s. If I finished something in 10 minutes, I should have finished it faster. Nothing was ever good enough, and I feel like I brought that into my business as well, in the beginning.
Now, I really celebrate everything that happens, everything that I accomplish, all of my successes, all of my journeys. I encourage my clients to do the same thing, because we need to really put things in perspective. I think that with this online world, sometimes that perspective gets a little jumbled, because we feel like it’s not happening fast enough.
We really need to understand that in hindsight, when we look back … If I’m gonna look back right now, I am wrapping up my fourth year in business, and it’s incredible what I’ve accomplished in four years … in four years, compared to the previous 10 years of my life, or 15 years of my life.
While we’re in it, it seems like it’s not happening fast enough like, “I’m not doing enough, not happening fast enough, not making enough money. I’m not impacting enough people.” Trust me, and believe that in hindsight, you’re gonna be like, “Holy crap. I can’t believe I did that so fast. Holy crap, I can’t believe I changed and transformed so fast. Holy crap, I can’t believe I made that much money in such a short period of time.”
One of the other things that was mentioned in that Mastermind, which I thought was kind of mind blowing, considering what we’re able to do in the online world. The person who was speaking basically said that it takes eight years to build a brand in the US. I thought that was really interesting.
He’s talking more about physical products, let’s say like Coca-Cola, or Whole Foods, or some of the bigger, really well-known brands, it takes eight years, a minimum of eight years for that to be a recognized brand, from when they start. If you can take a look at what we’ve been able to do, and what we’re able to do in the online world with our personal brands, it’s really an incredible thing. It’s an amazing thing.
Even people that have brick and mortar stores, or franchises, and things like that, it takes five years, seven years, for them to even be profitable. If you’re profitable in your first year, or your second year, or your third year, you’re still light years ahead of everybody else. Celebrate that. Recognize that. Appreciate the journey. Look how far you’ve come, and be able to embrace that as a win, as amazing, because you are amazing.
We’re on to the last lesson. Again, something really, really powerful for me. It’s something that I want to read every day as a reminder. If somebody can type this out while I’m writing it, so that you guys can write it out. I just thought it was so powerful. There was a speaker, Philip McKernan. He is from Ireland. He is awesome.
He is just really, really somebody who will make you dig deep into what you’re actually here for, versus, “Let’s make a million dollars,” or, “Let’s do all kind of things.” It’s more about who you’re going to be. He was incredible. I loved every second of him speaking. One of the things that he said, or one of his quotes is, “Where there is judgment, there is no growth.” Loved it. “Where there is judgment, there is no growth.” It’s absolutely true.
This piggybacks of the last one. It piggybacks off of celebrating and having compassion with yourself. I looked at this both ways. If you’re judging other people, if you’re judging and industry, if you’re judging the way somebody markets, if you’re judging your clients, if you’re judging whatever outside forces, there’s no growth. You can’t grow. You can’t evolve.
Similarly, if you have judgment upon yourself, you also can’t grow. I thought that was really important to note. I thought it was really, really important to understand that we have to stop being so hard on ourselves. We have to stop wanting more without celebrating what we already have. We have to stop judging ourselves, because we’re all in the same boat.
Where there’s judgment, there’s no growth, absolutely loved it. I feel like it needs to be a reminder for me every day, because I think we’re hardest on ourselves, of course. Where there’s judgment, there’s no growth. Stop it with the judgment. Stop judging other people. Stop judging yourself. Stop all of that, because then you’re going to allow yourself that creative space and that flow, to grow to evolve, to be who you need to be for the people that actually need you.
Those are my biggest lessons. Like I said, I think it’s super surprising, because I expected to go into this Mastermind walking away with all these business ideas, and new strategies, and marketing, and all that stuff. What I really walked away with was, just really knowing that I need to play a bigger game, need to stop being so hard on myself and I just need to be really present. I need to be present, and I need to be really, really intentional about everything I do in my business.
What do you guys think? Can you guys relate to any of the stuff that I mentioned today? Can you relate to this stuff, and really also see how it more matters who you’re being, versus what you’re doing.
Those of you who have watched me grow over the past few years, there’s been a shift for me in my business. There’s been a major shift, because I realized that. I’m very, very good at the marketing stuff. I’m very, very good at strategy. I’m very, very good at simplifying things for people, but that’s just one part of it.
The bigger part is who you have to be. The bigger part is your mindset. The bigger part is your intention, and everything that you’re actually bringing into this world, versus just the doing. You’ll see more of this shift in my programs, and the things that I’m gonna be coming out with, and my stories, and my posts, because I think it’s really important to talk about.
That’s what I really just thought was amazing about this Mastermind, because it could have been a Mastermind where it was just a bunch of dudes. By the way, there was only three women in that room, which I thought was really, really interesting. Ladies, I am calling on you to step the F up, because in a room full of 30 to 35 people in this invite only Mastermind for people that, for the most part, seven figures, multiple seven figures, there was three women, three.
Why was there only three? Same thing for speaking events. If you look at the lineup for a lot of speaking events, most of them are men. The majority of them are men. We need to step up. We need to play bigger. We need to go out there and show them who’s boss because we all know it’s us, ladies. We’re kicking ass.
Really, we need to step up, because I thought it was a little disheartening. The women that were there were totally badass, but why weren’t there more? Why isn’t there more of us playing at that level?
I invite you, I challenge you to step up and to play at a higher level, because that’s what the world needs. It needs us to play up here, not here in the comfort zone. I’m also saying this to myself, because like I said, after I left, I felt like, “Wow. I’ve been just hanging out, being totally cool being a big fish in a small pond.” Now it’s time for me to step up and be a big fish in a big pond.
That’s my goal. That’s is my challenge to myself. That’s my commitment to myself. That’s my commitment to you. Ladies, we need to step up. Step the F up, you got it. Joanna says, “I wonder if it’s due to judgment. Do we judge ourselves more than men?” Before the Mastermind, Joanna, I would have said yes probably, to that question.
Again, in a room of 35 people, 32 of them were men, and they all experienced the five lessons that I gave you about judging themselves, about hurting deep down inside, about judging themselves. I don’t know if that’s so true. I’m sure that there are reasons. I’m sure there are studies.
That’s the other part that I thought was interesting, is that even the men were admitting to, not that there’s any shame in it, but they were being vulnerable. They were being vulnerable in that room, and it was awesome.