Once upon a time I was a relationship coach. I used to think it was a bad thing and tried to hide it. But I actually discovered that having that experience with relationships- good, bad and ugly- it actually gave me a ton of tools and knowledge with how to deal with people in general, not just the romantic kind of relationships.
The way I dealt with my clients back then was gentle but firm. And I discovered a lot about how to handle people who had fears and just how to get them to see their own light. Throughout my coaching journey, I have actually uncovered so many ways that coaching is just like dating. Today I want to share those similarities with you and how you can start to use these things in your favor. Both as the coach and the client.
First thing’s first, just like you have to be ready to be in a relationship, when it comes to coaching, you must also be coachable. Much like I would want a potential partner to be emotionally available. I also require all my clients to be coachable- willing and open to learn and grow. In the coaching relationship, there are no guarantees, only that each party will commit to showing up and giving it their all. If someone comes into a coaching relationship, not ready and unwilling to accept new ideas- it won’t work. A great way to figure this out is before you even get on a call with a potential client. Have new clients fill out a questionnaire so you can figure out where they’re at in their life or business and what their exceptions are.
So now that you have the potential client on the phone, this conversation serves many purposes. A lot of coaches make huge mistakes during this call. There are several types of calls, but the get to know you type calls are what I’m referring to. Usually if someone gets to this point with you, they have some idea of who you are, what you do and how you work. You may have even had some interaction or chat with them previously. However, that may not be enough. It takes a long time for people to recognize you and to build that know like and trust factor. Think of it like dating, would you go in for the close on the first date? Probably not. Consider your marketing strategy and your connection before the call to ensure the close. And I don’t necessarily mean actual phone calls. Your interaction with them can be through your newsletters, videos, conference calls or webinars.
The next thing is your energy. Think about when you go on a date (or think back many years ago when you used to date). Remember how creepy those desperate guys seemed. You wanted nothing to do with them. They put off a bad vibe in a stalker, desperate kind of way. Don’t let this be you. You are NOT desperate. You need to begin to position yourself as the expert when you talk to a potential client. And the truth is, if you have all your marketing and business foundations in place correctly, you will effortlessly attract your ideal clients. And when you are on a consult call with your dream client, it is never a hard sell.
Now I want to talk about the who. Usually when dating, you set certain expectations and boundaries. You usually set these quotas so you know what you’re working with. Most people don’t set out to settle in their relationships. So why settle for a coach. Do your research and choose the right match for you. If you want to find out just how you can do that, you can listen to the call I did just a few weeks ago.
Now that you’ve found your perfect match, or when you do- it’s important to give your all to THAT coaching relationship. When you’re dating and playing the field, you may talk to a lot of different coaches, putting feelers out to see who’s right for you. But when you’ve found “the one”, your eyes and paws should remain on them. You wouldn’t cheat on “the one”, would you? Now I want to be very clear here. Because, I have several coaches, however they are all in completely different fields and help me with different parts of my life. I have a health coach, a business coach and a life coach. I wouldn’t have two business coaches or two health coaches- who could likely give me different information and opinions. Respect your own boundaries and figure out what you need most to move forward in your business now and find someone who can help you with that particular thing.
And finally, the last thing pertains to getting burned and the best way to handle that.
Unfortunately, I’ve heard some stories of people getting burned by coaches and now have their guard up and don’t trust coaches. They don’t want to open up and try again. Just like in romantic relationships, it sucks. And it may sting for a while, but at some point in time, you have to pick up the pieces and try again. Maybe that person just wasn’t the right one for you. Maybe you did in fact get duped. Learning, growing and success doesn’t stop there.
Likewise, if you are the coach and you get rejected by a potential client, it’s not the end of the world. You just gotta pick back up and keep going. Keep putting yourself out there and keep showing up. There are over 7 billion people in the world, you will find your dream clients soon enough.
Join the challenge mentioned in the call here: HOW TO GET A CLIENT IN A WEEK FREE 7 DAY CHALLENGE