I remember getting teased in school for being a nerd, too skinny, flat-chested. I was even picked on because of my race. In seventh grade, they shot rubber bands at me.
And I hated my mother for the horrible haircut she made me get every year.
For a long time, these things affected me. What I thought about myself, how others viewed me and what I thought I deserved. They caused a lot of pressure in my younger years, and even though I can vividly remember these things, I no longer let them affect me.
But sometimes things that happened to us in our past stay with us longer than we care to admit. They start to chip away at our self-esteem and confidence. Here are six signs your self-esteem has taken a hit.
Going solo scares you
Yes, our friends support us and have fun with us, but when we find it hard to do things by ourselves, it could be because we lack confidence. Things like going out to eat alone, getting a pedicure or going to the bathroom alone when you’re out with friends display a lack of confidence. It could even be as serious as missing important events or forgoing things we want because we have no one to go with.
Fear of uncertainty
Staying comfortable, even if it’s chaotic, makes you feel better than exploring options you’re not sure of. For example, staying in an unhealthy relationship because you’re not sure you’ll find someone else to love you. Or staying at a job that sucks the life out of you and doesn’t support your needs because it’s better than going on interviews. Comfort will keep you playing small, in relationships and in life.
You care too much about what others think
If everything you do, say, wear or are is a result of what you believe other people will say or think about you, there’s a lack of self-worth at play. If you are constantly seeking validation from friends, family or social media, a bigger underlying issue is at hand. Why have you made what other people think, say or believe about you more important that what you believe about yourself?
You question your choices
If decision-making is daunting (like it used to be for me), this is an indicator of low self-esteem. You think you know what you want, but you’re not sure. You need validation from others and you ask others for their opinions about pretty much everything before you go ahead with your decisions. You are giving away your power when you do this. YOU have the power to decide your life – every part of it. When you’re sure of what you want and your decisions, you don’t need anyone else to be.
You get jealous easily
Comparison really is the thief of joy. And it’s almost impossible not to compare when you are inundated with everyone else’s perfect life on social media and TV. If jealousy and comparison are daily occurrences for you, take a break from social media and focus on the amazing things you have to offer. And always remember you’re only seeing part of their story.
Gossip & negative talk rule your world
If you find yourself constantly talking badly or criticizing others, your confidence is at an all-time low. By talking badly about others or focusing on negativity, you may have a temporary feeling of control. But when you are aligned with who you truly are, grateful for what you have and confident in what you bring to the table, you won’t have time for this nonsense.
Low self-esteem and decreased confidence can be caused by a number of things, from your childhood to social media or even verbal abuse you may have experienced in past relationships. And we all deal with it in different ways.
It’s not easy navigating through this life, especially when you’re not sure what you want – or how to get it.
Imagine having someone there for you, to mentor you, help you get clear on what you want your life to look like and what’s blocking you from having it right now?
Imagine having accountability and support as you transition through some tough (but amazing) changes?
Imagine this could be the time in your life when your dreams and desires become reality because you will be working with someone who knows how to get you there…
Are you ready to transform your life and take full ownership of how things play out, instead of letting things happen to you?
Then let’s talk.
I’m offering a handful of Clarity & Confidence calls this week. It could be the start of something amazing for you. Book it here.